Worst/My Most Hated Lyrics of All Time
February 2, 2009
Matt
- Custom – Hey Mister: “When I’m horny like thirsty she’s a bottle of water.” I don’t really need to say why this is stupid, do I?
- Beck – Pay No Mind: “The sales climb high through the garbage-pail sky, like a giant dildo crushing the sun.” I actually really like these lyrics, especially in the context of the song, but objectively, they are pretty terrible.
- Alan Jackson – Chattahoochee: “Way down yonder on the Chattahoochee
It gets hotter than a hoochie coochie.” Ugh. You could pretty much just put all country in this spot. - Vanilla Ice – Ice Ice Baby: “Then I flow like a harpoon daily and nightly.” I’m so glad he doesn’t have a career anymore. Did you see him on The Surreal Life? He freaks out if anyone so much as mentions this stuff, like anyone gives a crap about him for any other reason.
- Hyper Crush – Sex and Drugs: “She wants some sex and drugs, sex sex and drugs. You know she wants some sex and drugs, sex sex and drugs.” Really, a lot of rap lyrics could go on this list. Check here for the rest of the lyrics to this song.
Roz – poke my eyes out…
- Kings of Leon - Sex on Fire:“Your sex is on fire, Consumed with what´s to transpire” Seriously? Get some cream for that.
- Matthew Good Band - Symbolistic White Walls: “Symbolistic white walls surround me and you.” Literally, my walls are more eggshell or mother of pearl.
- Nickleback - Rock Star: “I'm gonna dress my ass with the latest fashion, get a front door key to the Playboy mansion.” This whole song should be erased from the face of the Earth.
- Britney Spears – “I'm not a girl, not yet a woman.” Ya… When I hear this song I wish I was not female at all.
- Chumbawamba - I Get Knocked Down: All the lyrics to this song stink, especially "Pissing the night away"...
Best/My Favourite Lyrics of All Time
Matt
- Neutral Milk Hotel – Oh, Comely: “Your father made fetuses with flesh-licking ladies while you and your mother were asleep in the trailer park” and “Goldaline my dear, we will fold and freeze together. Far away from here, there is sun and spring and green forever, but now we move to feel for ourselves inside some stranger’s stomach. Place your body here, let your skin begin to blend itself with mine.” Really, that entire song is just fucking amazing.
- Radiohead – Knives Out: “If you’d been a dog they would’ve drowned you at birth.” That’s just cold. And awesome.
- David Bowie – Hang On To Yourself: “We can't dance, we don't talk much, we just ball and play, but then we move like tigers on Vaseline.” Although, to be honest, until I looked this up just now I thought it was “badgers on Vaseline” – just listen to the song, I still don’t think it sounds like tigers.
- The Decemberists – We Both Go Down Together: “Meet me on my vast veranda, my sweet untouched Miranda. And while the seagulls are crying, we fall but our souls are flying.” The Decemberists’ songs have such depressing romance to them, it brings a tear to my eye. I mean… that’s sissy crap! {grabs crotch and spits}
- John Prine – Sam Stone: “There’s a hole in daddy’s arm where all the money goes.” I love John Prine. If only he could sing, maybe more people would know who he is.
Roz loves…
- Radiohead – Creep: “I want to have control, I want a perfect body, I want a perfect soul.” This just sums up our entire lives.
- Tragically Hip - At the Hundredth Meridian: “It would seem to me I remember every single fucking thing I know.” You can’t argue with logic like that. Rock on.
- Matthew Good Band - Load Me Up: “Murphy's fighting Ockham, You're in the stands.” This is a cool idea. Plus, there could be blood.
- Sam Roberts - Dead End: “Why don't I have a circle of friends? I'm so square they don't even pretend.” As a square, this speaks to me.
- Cake - Rock n Roll Lifestyle: "And how long will the workers keep building him new ones? As long as their soda cans are red, white, and blue ones." Actually, if it's Cake, I like it. And, if it's cake, I probably like it too.