Oct. 24-26, 2008
By Roz Young, November 8, 2008
As we walked into the Metro Cinema full of anticipation for the weekend of terror, we were not disappointed by the atmosphere of the Deadmonton Horror Film Festival. There were severed limbs, headless corpses, assorted zombies shuffling about, and some undead hotties manning a t-shirt and merchandise booth. We were there a bit early (guess what, we're geeks), and things were a bit slow to get going. Not suprisingly, the visionaries behind a horror film festival are not cracker-jack, organizational machines. They made up for it with enthusiasm and prizes. Yes, you can buy our understanding and patience. WoooOOoo!Day 1 was an introduction to some local shorts, including a creepy Nazi-like human research piece and our own city being overrun with zombies, and two feature films. Bubba's Chili Parlor (dir. Joe Evans) started out great, infected beef and zombies. But then you get treated to a lesson in the violent and destructive nature of our own humanity a la William Golding's Lord of the Flies. It was a little too much insight for me, in a world of "raging zombie boners". We also watched Night of the Creeps. A classic. If you haven't seen it - you should, or Matt will scold you.
Day 2 started with one of the organizers, Matt Acosta's, short umm, genre escapes me, piece. His movie is emo Romeo meets medicated Juliet, then there's some blood, and then they shoot each other in the face. We learned at that moment that getting government funding for horror movies means you don't make scary movies, you make artsy fartsy ones. Sad. But good to know. The short films of Rodrigo Gudino were next, and... awesome! Creepy, weird, artsy, and entertaining. Then we watched a really depressing movie about suicide! Yay! Luckily, just when you thought your soul was too broken to go on, we watched Cold Hard Cash (dir. Mike Pecci). Lesbian babes make out. I stopped watching because I don't like to see anyone's britney, ever. I liked when the girls stopped having sex and started kicking the shit out of each other. It makes sense in the movie, sort of. And then... Tokyo Gore Police!!! See Matt's review. It's something else. Wow. WOW. A couple of shorts about Christmas later (Treevenge rocked my socks, why aren't babies safe in horror movies anymore?)... and it's My Name is Bruce! If you like Bruce Campbell movies, you'll like this one. If you don't, how did you even get to this website? Shame on you. Shame.
Day 3 we were tired and stiff and sore. Movies are great, but theatre chairs and crappy popcorn can get to you at our age. But we're troopers, and Matt even asked the local directors of a Christine-esque short how they got such awesome old music in their movie. Unfortunately, then we watched Wicked Lake. There's a weak plot lead up to some torture, and then the evil witches get their revenge by eating everyone. It's uh... ya. Lots of boobies, and the witches make out a lot. Yay! Or umm, barf! The next piece about a weird clown was strange enough that I mostly forgot about the lesbian witches. Mostly. And then we watched a short that was so inspiring. I wanted to /cheer. Anyone can make a fun movie, that's what David Preston's Mr. Exterminator taught me. Midnight Movie (dir. Jack Messitt) looked like it was going to scare me senseless, but it was fun, high school horror and I was both disappointed and relieved. We also watched Phantasm (dir. Don Coscarelli) at the end of Sunday. It was way too long and boring for my old man's knee and grandma back pain. I think it was scary in 1979. Or weird enough to be scary, but I was just confused and distracted. However, that movie wins the prize for hottest shoes, as the woman's '70s lace up heels made me drool all over.
Overall, I had a fantastic time attending Deadmonton. But it has got me thinking about why we like to watch horror movies. It's crazy that we can't call them unimaginable acts of violence, because they were imagined by someone. And, what's really scary... it happens sometimes in real life. I'm not talking about the murders of jealous lovers or sketchy business partners, but the mind fucking scary shit that happens just often enough to make horror movies hypothetical. In real life, people getted chopped into pieces and eaten. And it's not funny. It's terribly sad. We have a complicated justice system designed to deal with even those kinds of situations. It still blows your mind, but you're curious about it (aren't you, admit it). Crazier still, our history as a society is full of bizarre incidents of horrific violence. Once in awhile, someone goes completely mad and hurts another human being in a biologically graphic way. That's messed up. And... we make, and enjoy, movies inspired by those emotions.
This is where I get arsty (or fartsy, you can decide), so stop reading if you hate BS... But, horror films do ask questions about our society, and selves, and challenge us to consider why we are afraid of each other. Interestingly, some of the most terrifying movies are not the gore fests we got exposed to at Deadmonton. Nothing is a substitute for our own imaginations, and great suspense will always scare people when you turn the lights out. Our ability to imagine horror is what really scares us. It could happen in the world around us, and we might even be capable of it. I say, screw you if you think horror movies are stupid and unoriginal. You're wrong (most of the time), and everyone likes to be scared a little bit, once in awhile. Slasher flicks teach us that we all look the same on the inside, and it's not pretty no matter how many zombies are tearing your intestines out. I feel better knowing that it's ok to laugh at my humanity and my own fear. Sometimes we take life too seriously, but living without having any fun is what we should really be afraid of. So next time you answer your phone, try it out... Thrill me.